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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2012 18:56:55 GMT
Andy- "Nobody expects sonic chain lightning."
Me (singing OOC)- "Chang, Chang, he's our man, if he can't kill it, Philbert will."
"I touch myself in my special place and I feel much better" Marvin, describing Chang using the monk's lay on hands type thing.
Andy- "You cannot escape the BUZZING BEE!"
Oxy having possessed a ghostly fire giant, phasing through the walls screaming "WHERE IS HE!!! LISTEN FOR THE BUZZING!"
The demise of a very annoying mage in the end resulted from him being pursued by Buzzing Bee, the greatest 3.5 spell known to man, and the end of punched into a web and then punched to death by Chang (which is exactly what he did to the guy's brother.)
At the end of the game, they find my new character, shackled to a chair of sorcerous SCIENCE. They discuss my fate with the usual 50/50 split of 'kill him' and 'free him.'
Chang- "well, the decision falls to our leader, Holly..." Of course, Diane is not present. "I think he's pretty cool and we should have him" says I, with a hand in front of my mouth, doing a really bad high pitched voice. I received +500 xp from the GM for that.
Farewell Badok. Now the world shalt fear MAGMA! (Or he'll die anti-climatically, one or the other.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2012 11:38:33 GMT
I'm for the amazing death by red dragons
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2012 8:16:27 GMT
Diane "I don't have any defining morals at this point."
"There is definitely miasma involved."
James declares his wish to cast the excellently named Dinosaur Stampede. Marvin says to describe it. James does so. Marvin- "No, a brachiosaurus would be better." Myself- "James, describe it yourself! No wait, your description is invalid!"
"Have you ever ridden a polar bear?"
Myself "I would break the door, but it doesn't look wise." The door had a miasma problem. Andy's character, Oxy "What about the wall next to the door?" "Okay." I bust the wall with about three mighty blows. Steve Gilbert, GM "There is a rather large zombie on the other side of the wall." Myself- "Do I get cleave?"
"Would that be holy damage, dropping a large celestial porpoise on it?"
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2012 19:56:05 GMT
This week's Thursday D&D Possibly Hilarious Quotes! (of which is mostly Marvin and myself being idiots OOC, most of which directed at James.)
"We've got them on the run, he's going flacid!"
James Robertson "His name is not Ronson! You can't name my summoned animal!" Marvin Shaw "His name is Ronson, he sends me letters, I sponsored him!"
Me "Armed adventurers EXPLODE into battle... SONIC LIGHTNING..." Marv and I "STRIKES!"
"Sonic chain lightning! SONIC CHAIN LIGHTNING! SONIC CHAIN LIGGGGHTNINNNGG!!!!" Andy describing more or less how the boss was defeated.
Me "I'm not quoting that." After Marvin went into far too much detail about Oxy lying in a bed with summoned celestial monkeys.
James "I roll Profession: Druid." Much laughter in response. Me- "What, you get -paid- for being a druid now?" Marvin "He's like a professional hermit." Much mockery followed of Jame's failure to understand the Profession skill including talk of being a druidic trade union representative.
Sarah/Philbert "I'm not touching tips with you!" After it was suggested to try and touch the four Wands of Elemental power together.
Me "Ronson is a dire lion, simply living his life out in the savannah, when suddenly, he finds himself in a dark dungeon filled with undead, tragically taken from his family. For only 2 pounds a month, we will send angry letters to the druid that summoned Ronson, asking him to summon him in more pleasant locales. For only two pounds a month, we will support Ronson's family whilst he is being summoned." After discussing the splight of poor summoned animals abused by our druid, such as the dire lion, Ronson.
James "You CAN'T call him Ronson!" Marvin "I can, LOOK, he gave me this certificate, it says his name!" I had in fact written 'To Marvin, I love you, Love Ronson the dire lion' on a piece of paper and gave it to Marvin. We were amused, James was comically incensed, as usual. We love you James.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2012 8:17:23 GMT
THIS WEEK'S QUOTES!
Sarah- "You don't want to be taken by one in the back whilst you are being taken in the front."
Steve- "The grapple fails. But it does try to lick you."
Me- "Wow, I have turned a psionic power into a condom."
Me again- "Hello, my name is Magma, I have powers of expansion, great resistance and even vigor!"
"There was miasma."
Gilruin, remarking upon the decision to open the obvious door of doom- "Plus, it seems nobody knows whats going on. And we're here now."
Gilruin again, after the archduke of tentacles is released "Well, that could have gone better."
Oxy, to Chang- "So your fault!"
Sarah- "Don't call it Superior Resistance, call it stubborn c**t."
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Post by brumguvnor on Mar 5, 2012 8:43:40 GMT
"stubborn c*nt" as a new name for "superior resistance" has a certain ring to it, don't you think? - I think it should be renamed as such for the duration of this campaign!
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gilbo
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Post by gilbo on Mar 5, 2012 9:36:57 GMT
Suggested renamed spells for the new prestige class 'Tourette's Mage':
Circle of Death is renamed 'Die Motherf**kers!'
Stoneskin = 'Hard B*stard'
Imprisonment = 'F**k off and die'
Maximised Fireball = 'F**king burn you f**king c**ts'
etc.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2012 13:10:06 GMT
Bi*chin' buzzing bee
Leomunds mother f*cking magnificant mansion
What the F*ck was that? = Acidic chain lightning.
Oh and for the quotes section
James- "Describe acidic chain lightning" Andy- "Well its like normal chain lightning, but sloppy"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2012 18:39:13 GMT
Oxy "Would a zombie of light be acceptable?"
Sarah "That would have been more impressive if you were a bat."
Sarah again, as Philbert "Looks cave-a-licious."
Me, when Marvin was looking for clues "Use Knowledge: CSI!"
Gilruin, remarking of the voices "If they call me an archer, I am not going to be happy."
Chang "I have two boxes of eternal flame." Gilruin "In case one runs out."
Steve "Who's in front?" Marvin "Magma." Kris "Magma the Expendable."
Me "Roll Profession: Archer."
Sarah- "Hammermantine!"
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2012 18:31:50 GMT
This week's Thursday D&D Quotes BUMPER EDITION!
This week, we continued in the Dungeon of Classic Puzzles and Traps, and Classic Golem Guardians.
Upon discussion of made-up bee-based spells... Me "What would Beard of Bees -be-? Offensive, or defensive?" Andy "I think it would be a charisma bonus!"
We faced the room of holes that shoot elemental death beams. Chang decides to see what beams set of which traps by throwing something in. Andy's response "You're throwing in a really rare +3 magical shield, when we could have thrown in a pebble?"
Myself, shortly after some more silly attempts to block these holes. "Pebbles don't really stop lightning. This is what we have learned."
Philbert- "Check my thinking... its chocolate!" Circlet of intellect at full force there!
Still considering the beam traps, Andy responds to a question of mine. "GOOD POINT! What -would- a professional druid do?" Rolls his dice. GM- "A professional druid is of no use here!"
Still at the room of holes James "Would now be a bad time for Dinosaur Stampede?" Me- "its -never- a bad time for Dinosaur Stampede." Marv "He made me do it.. with Dinosaur Stampede!"
The thing you should never hear a GM say...
"Jesus, I didn't know it was -that- good." In regards to the attack bonus of a greater stone golem.
After finally defeating the Laser Hole Room and the World's Biggest Stone Golem, we came to the Room Where You Play Life Sized Battle Chess.
Marvin Shaw as Chang "So who knows how to play chess?" Andy as Oxy "Don't worry I've got this covered... I'm a professional druid!"
Kris "We've got hard core pawn."
"Hey, King I kill you", Magma yells, not understanding chess, as the Queen flies in at him. "Oh..." Marvin "At least Gil's safe!" Steve, GM "She will cast Flesh to Stone." Myself, with confidence "I should be able to make that..." cracking my knuckles, looking at my +17 Fortitude. "...Ooooooh, failed by ONE!" Marvin "Now you know how Chang felt with the Finger of Death."
James Robertson "Its a pawn, it can't be that tough!" Kris "Thats a quote waiting to happen."
Marvin "The First Rule of Dead Club is, you can't talk about Dead Club!" Me "Because you're dead!"
Me "I can't believe you missed the chance to Ride a Queen!" to Marvin. Kris "Yeah instead, you got Fingered."
Andy "Profession: Necromancer. Is he dead?" Me "Can you please confirm as a professional druid?"
Alas then the quotes dropped off as we encountered the Room of Many Riddles and Mind Numbing Maths to finish the game. Excellent fun though (hurray for playing Int 10, I don't have to pretend to even try the maths!)
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gilbo
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Post by gilbo on Mar 16, 2012 20:56:19 GMT
One you may have missed on the night.
One of the riddles: "Goes over all the hills and hollows, Bites hard, but never swallows." Kris "Sounds like my ex girlfriend."
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2012 4:40:11 GMT
i think you missed steves - i didnt think finger of death was that deadly.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2012 13:30:09 GMT
The full dead club quote: The first rule of dead club - You can't talk in dead club The seciond rule in dead club - YOU CAN'T TALK IN DEAD CLUB! THe third rule of dead club - 'if its your first time at dead club you have to be dead!'
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2012 6:03:35 GMT
This week (and last week's, cos I forgot) D&D Thursday quotes!
Last week- the final part of the Light Child's dungeons involving many CHALLENGES!
GM- "You have a pleasant night in a necropolis."
Me "Speed Dating with Chang... STUNNING FIST!" Marvin Shaw- "Rhohypnol PUNCH!"
Andy "Go and do speed things." Kris"Don't take too long!"
Me "So, you're gonna take the Test of Speed with the slow option.... beat the dragon to death."
Philbert "I'll do the intellect challenge!" Chang "Is there an intellect challenge?" Philbert "I don't know."
"Test of Strength!" "Strength of Character!" "Strength of Magic Item!"
Oxy "Show some respect! This is the tomb... of.... some... person..."
"You are the chosen one." Gilruin- "Arse."
This week- involving the mini-bosses in the lead up to the final fight with NECRAX!
Gilruin- "I'm not going to bone another demon to death." Hurray for demon slaying arrows of bone.
Magma "I need... help... this door is very small." James- "Quickly, fetch the GREASE!"
Kris "Its more cakey than chips!"
James "Does he fly?" Nod of assent. Andy "Then dinosaurs may struggle to reach him." Me "WE'RE ALL DOOMED, FLEE IN TERROR!"
GM- "The Dinosaur Stampede has no effect." Me- "THEN WE HAVE FAILED, FLEE, FLEE!"
The GM describes the massive humanoid shadowy undead that is the Nightwalker. James- "No shadow wang then?" Me- "No, the Shadow Wang is a separate creature." Cue much reference to the eventuality of a Shadow Wang for the rest of the game. "Its the final mini-boss before Necrax."
Me (singing a silly song about Gilruin, as I am wont to do) "Child of Light, Child of Light, save us all with your light-based powers!" Kris "Quiet, I am trying to do maths here!" GM- "You kill it." Me- "Only with the help of my theme song!" James "Does that mean you have a level of bard now?" Me- "Not in character, but out of character I am a 20th level bard." Marvin "No you're not." Me- "I have Perform (comedy music), it has to be funny, it doesn't have to be good singing." Marvin cannot bring himself to disagree.
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Post by brumguvnor on Mar 30, 2012 9:37:08 GMT
what the feck are you doing updating a forum at 6 in the morning?!
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