gilbo
2019 Group
Posts: 1,446
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Post by gilbo on Sept 13, 2020 15:25:00 GMT
The Party's Standard Procedure...
Seijin the Poison Druid "I'll summon 8 needle blights, 2 dire wolves, a partridge in a pear tree, cast flaming sphere, turn into a T Rex AND DON'T FORGET THE POISON ON YOUR WEAPONS!"
Tarik the Drunken Dwarf "I'll jump on the fecker, punch it six times and then have a pint. So that's 46 bludgeoning damage, 14 piercing damage, 29 force damage and twelve DC 14 saving throws or it's stunned, prone and completely knackered."
Rimir the Really Nice Bloke, Honest "I will cast five protective spells on myself and hide at the back behind some bins, invisible. Also, I'll summon a flock of 27 familiars to scout out the area while my own secret familiar spies on the rest of the party, and I'll give Tarik a bonus +1d6."
Ramas the Evangelist "I'll cast call lightning and use a bonus action to give the monster a pamphlet about the Church of Set."
Jesus the Impregnable Fortress of Bullshit DM "Does 34 hit you?" "No, I'll use shield/sphinx power/rope trick/some other bullshit to avoid that. Then I'll fire my bow 17 times and do +26 damage."
Gragga the Mild-Mannered Barbarian "I'll charge in with my axe." DM "Are you raging?" "Er, hmmmm, actually, yes, that sounds like a good idea. I hit for 3 damage!" "Are you sure?" (checks sheet) "Oh, no, actually it's 84 damage."
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Post by brumguvnor on Sept 14, 2020 17:11:36 GMT
LOL!
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Post by Karrgos on Sept 14, 2020 17:24:03 GMT
I mean, he's not wrong. 🤣🤣🤣
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Post by brumguvnor on Sept 14, 2020 19:38:08 GMT
No he's not - and that's what makes it all the funnier!
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Post by kurgamemnon on Sept 16, 2020 9:51:06 GMT
Oh yes indeedy.
"Have you heard about my Lord the Mighty Set?"
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